I was late for my first day of school. On purpose. You see, I had the unique experience of sharing my first day of college with my daughter’s first day of kindergarten. And, as important as it is to make a good first impression, it was more important not to miss my little girl getting on the school bus for the first time. For some parents, this is a big deal…and I happen to be one of those parents. So I waited with her, at the bus stop, excited and proud (mostly proud) for that symbolic act which reinforces to all parents that your baby is growing up. The bus pulled up, and off she went. In fact, I had to call her back and ask for a hug and kiss goodbye. I watched and waved as the bus drove off and will forever remember that little smiling face peering back at me from the window, eyes wide and shining, curious and confident. She was ready. And so was I. As soon as I dried my eyes, of course. Inspired by the confidence of my 4 year old, I made my way to school. It was my turn to enter into an unfamiliar atmosphere with confidence and curiosity. Only I was nervous. I had never been nervous for a first day of school that I can remember, but for some reason this time felt different. Why? Was it because I had high expectations of myself? Possibly. But, I think parts of me worried I would be decades older than the other students and this age gap would make me feel out of place or slightly uncomfortable. I was feeling thankful that I look younger than my age at this point. Hopefully I won’t seem out of place. I now had a clue about how the tallest kid in class might feel, or the shortest kid, or the heaviest. So when you think about it, everyone has their own reasons for feeling out of place and I better come to terms with mine fast as I was quickly approaching the classroom door. As I reached the door, I paused only for a moment, taking a deep breath and reminding myself why I was here in the first place. I can do this, I thought. I’ve got to. I know I can. If I can witness a fearless little girl climb onto a bus and be off to school, just like that, then surely to God, I can open this door and enter this class like I am meant to be here. And that’s exactly what I did.
1 Comment
2/5/2014 07:16:10 am
Wouldn't it be ironic ,after 2o years ,your daughter would be in your shoes and reads this post and Say : I hear you mom :D
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Shauna QuinnNo stranger to taking the road less travelled, I must admit those not so great choices made me who I am and led me to where I am right now, which happens to be exactly where I am supposed to be. Archives
July 2018
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