I’ve hmm’d and haw’d about this post...not sure if I wanted to put it out there. But a friend of mine recently reminded me that victories should be celebrated. And in order to celebrate with you, I have to fill you in on what happened.
So, as vulnerable as this makes me feel, here goes. Approximately two years ago, a benign tumour was discovered in my pituitary gland. But tumour sounds scary, so let’s just call it a growth. Now, most folks think the pituitary gland is located in your throat or neck area. It is not. It’s located in your head and in pretty close proximity to your brain. In actual fact, it’s hanging off your brain, right behind the eyes. Take one finger and place it between your eyes. Now place another finger at your temple and draw two imaginary lines from each finger - where those two lines intersect - THAT is where your pituitary gland is found. You might be wondering now what your pituitary gland actually does. Well, let me tell you. The pituitary gland is a part of your endocrine system. As the “master gland” of the body, its main function is to secrete hormones into your bloodstream, directing certain processes or stimulating other glands to produce other hormones. These hormones can affect other organs and glands, especially your thyroid. Which was a big indicator in my case. Here I was eating right, hitting the gym and somehow I packed on at least 15 pounds. Not cool. There were other symptoms too, like daily headaches and migraines, moodiness, fatigue and a few others pertaining to my girly parts that I won’t go into. But ladies, if you really need more details, drop me a line. Anyways, I thought I might be hitting early menopause. FML. After months of enduring fatigue, headaches and packing on weight like nobody’s business, I finally went to my doctor. A simple blood test revealed that my prolactin levels were through the roof, which in turn indicated a pituitary adenoma - a benign tumour. Not long after, an MRI confirmed what doctors were thinking. There was a definitely a growth. The tests didn’t stop there. I now had to go for a vision test. Sounds weird right? I thought so too at first. And the reason was a tad more intimidating than one would prefer. You see, depending on the location of the growth inside the gland itself coupled with how aggressive it might be, there’s a chance the growth could put pressure behind the eyes causing one to lose their peripheral vision. Fun stuff. Thankfully, this was not the case for me and my vision has not been affected. If we’re keeping score, I think I just earned a point. So how do they treat a pituitary adenoma? In some cases, they may choose to extract the growth surgically either through the nasal passage or from the top of the head. Neither of which sounds appealing in any way, shape or form. But for the most part, medication is used to shrink the growth. This was the route I took. I started taking Cabergoline - which is the same drug given to cancer patients to shrink tumours. And if we look on the bright side, it also somehow qualified me to get the flu shot early. That’s another point for me. Now, I don’t care how big and strong you think you are, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally….when someone tells you there’s a growth in your body, and even more so, near your brain...it affects you. Benign yes. But still some scary shit. Your mind wanders into thoughts you hope to never face and into fears you never knew you had. And whether you want to admit it or not, it changes you. I thought alot about my daughter. I wanted to create memories with her, you know...just in case. I thought alot about my relationships and my own personal happiness. I thought alot about my career and where I wanted it to lead. There was a lot of personal inventory, realizations and changes to come. It was during this time that my contract with Parkinson Canada was not renewed, but ended and I found myself unemployed and on E.I. And it was about this same time that my ten year marriage really started to fall apart and I began to withdraw emotionally. However….this was to be a victorious tale, remember?! So, here it is. My last doctor’s appointment showed positive results. The latest MRI showed no signs of any growth and my bloodwork came back clean with all normal levels. I’m collecting points on both of those facts by the way, don’t even try to stop me. The BIG victory I am celebrating today is this. I just took my final dose of Cabergoline. As cheesy as it is, I can’t even say that without choking up a little. After two long years, it feels like such a huge win for me….and one I really needed at this point in my life. Sure, I’ll have a follow-up in six months, but if you’ve been keeping score like I have, then you know I’m winning. One other thing worth mentioning is that I have walked this journey for the most part on my own, with the support of limited few whom I chose to make aware. Until right now, that is. So remember kids, to be kind. Always. You really never know what battles others are facing. And to those facing battles of your own right now, that no one else knows about, be kind to yourself. The most influential person you’ll talk to all day, is you. You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head. So be kind to yourself. And don’t forget to celebrate your victories.
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Shauna QuinnNo stranger to taking the road less travelled, I must admit those not so great choices made me who I am and led me to where I am right now, which happens to be exactly where I am supposed to be. Archives
July 2018
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